Conversation With My Mother
So today I ended up having a long talk with my mom about things and what we discussed actually shocked and surprised me. So we ended up discussing how society tries and control people and that the “social norm” seems to be to tell people to go and seek psychiatric help and even she agreed that therapy cannot fix or help everything. Like what happened with my brother and what my father did to her. She claimed no amount of therapy can help her 30 years later and that she still has night terrors and even she agreed with me when I said that no amount of therapy can stop people from making me feel like I do when they make me feel like I’m back with my first boyfriend and being invalidated or people victim blaming/shaming me or lying on me or anything else that triggers my CPTSD.
We also discussed how people can sit there and condemn people for blaming their parents for their problems and this of course brought up my father and how she saw someone doing this and she replied “How dare you! You don’t know what someone went through and how it affect them.” and continued to mention how no one can fathom how what my father did to affected me or her even though it was 30 years ago that it happened. What made her even more mad was when they tried to claim that “Oh we don’t mean situations like that.” regarding what my father did to which my mother responded “You cannot judge a person cause you do not know what they went through and how just cause you went through the same thing doesn’t mean that it didn’t affect someone else who also went through it differently, like how she admitted she was guilty of doing this to me, her own son, due to what my neighbor had done to me with the whole situation of him coming up with a game to grab each other with tongs and that to her she felt it was no big deal as it was nothing due to it being child on child but she admitted that she disregarded that just cause she felt that way doesn’t mean it didn’t affect me differently and cause me to have strong feelings against certain things people do, like lying on me.
We even agreed that people who want to tell people who think that those who should seek psychiatric help, like people have been telling me to, should actually seek it themselves to learn to be empathetic to people’s plights and trauma like they falsely accuse people who are Autistic of being incapable of doing.
We also discussed the SuperStraight movement and the LGBT+ community and how people should be more focused on the bathroom issue cause not only does it affect the trans community but people who are like my brother who is physically and mentally handicapped who has also been discriminated against before due to my mother wanting to take him into the women’s bathroom that was at the front of a store and was forced to take him all the way to the back of the store to use the unisex bathroom even though it would have been more convenient to take my brother in the women’s bathroom in the front of the store since he was wet and needed changed. We also discussed how it is messed up how places of business aren’t made to make the unisex bathrooms at both the front and the back of the stores for people’s convenience.
Another thing we discussed is how society needs to stop thinking that people need to be controlled and force to go about things the same way as other people should. Like my situation with Liam Bennett and how people are trying to force me to move on and let it go when I want accountability and him to do the right thing. Again this goes back to my previous mention of how people are affected differently and have their own thoughts and feelings about a situation regardless of how other people think and feel and that my feelings are based on how I perceive the situation due to what I’ve been through as I have my own thoughts and feelings that will be against what society deems as “normal” and that because society doesn’t think they are the problem trying to force everyone to be the same they make me out as the crazy one and the one who needs to be “fixed”, something we both agree is wrong to do and that shouldn’t be done.
All and all we had a very interesting and intelligent conversation and it was refreshing that we both agreed that society needs to stop with how it is being and let people be themselves and respect people’s individuality.
