Why Do I Make a Big Deal About The Same Things Daily?

Ricky James Alan Bryant
3 min readOct 21, 2019

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Don’t Let Others Invalidate Your Feelings by Sharon Martin, LCSW Via livewellwithsharonmartin.com

The reason I continue day in and day out to speak out about homophobia, Shawn and so on is cause the one thing I have always felt is that my feelings are invalid, wrong or crazy.

It’s taken me years to get away from such emotional/mental abuse and yet it continues to happen on a daily bases and so I do what I can to fight back and defend something I felt has always been taken away from me.

I cannot imagine I have been the only one who has had people invalidate their feelings using illogic or religion. There is a statement that goes “No one else lives in your body. No one else sees through your eyes. No one else has lived through your experiences.”

To pretty much make a point, just cause someone thinks you should do something the way they possibly would handle the situation doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you to do. What works for millions doesn’t mean it works for everyone. We are all different, or we’re suppose to be.

I personally fight to be different, I take great pride in that but often feel forced to be the same and see so many try to make me the same or think I am the same.

Every person has a breaking point through out their life and mine hit when I got verbally abused by a homophobe. I was like, “I’m so tired of people saying and doing things to me with no consequences.” So yeah I broke and have fought to prove that homophobe wrong by trying to end up with Shawn and continuing to love him regardless because that’s what I feel is right for me.

The main thing people can’t do is be supportive if they think it’s wrong and so they turn to the emotional/mental abuse of invalidation and I for one am sick of it.

I am fighting to make the world a better place where future generations don’t have to go through what I have and can know that whatever you feel is right is where you should go, not where others think you should go.

So yes, I continue day in and day out to speak out until I get the justice I want cause it’s not about anyone else. It’s about me and that’s my advice to all, as long as you are not physically harming someone or putting their life in danger, do what you think is right and continuously fight for it.

If people invalidate you or your feelings then they are the ones in the wrong and the ones that are the problem, not you. Don’t ignore them but stand your ground daily. Giving up and giving in is easy but less satisfying, it’s like standing there letting a bully just pick on you and doing nothing and feeling like hell later cause you did nothing but when you stand up and tell them off you feel better cause you stood up for yourself, even if it doesn’t stop it right then and there.

When you stand up for yourself you get the strength and courage to do something and speak out, for example, maybe you’ll find the strength and courage to report your bullying to your teachers until something is done. It maybe exhausting but the results will end up being worth it.

Granted this isn’t for everyone but it’s a better option than doing nothing. It’s better than spending your entire life feeling like your feelings don’t matter so you don’t matter as well. But that’s how I feel. Again this isn’t for everyone but neither is everyone doing nothing and just letting things go.

We are all different and we think and feel differently about our own personal experiences, while it’s often nice to know you’re not alone if someone has went through the same thing, it still doesn’t mean we are all meant to handle the situation the same way.

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Ricky James Alan Bryant
Ricky James Alan Bryant

Written by Ricky James Alan Bryant

Fighting against homophobia and social injustice.

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