Tired of the Psychological Abuse And Gaslighting

You know I’m gonna tell the full story of what has happened between me and Liam Michael Bennett-Hughes cause I’m tired of the gaslighting and psychological abuse through this whole situation.

Me and Liam started out due to me popping into a live he did shortly after he got stood up by his ex when they were supposed to meet. He was crying and the moment I looked into his eyes I connected with him. I knew from there on I had found who I was meant to spend my life with. I saw someone who had been through the same pain as I had and I wanted to protect him with all my might.

But Liam is in the UK and I’m in the US, so I settled for being his pup, as we were both human pups and he wanted to be an alpha and so he asked me to be his pup, making me his first official pup in the pup play world as the pups in his pack were inherited. Liam got back with his ex, not long afterward the guy eventually packed his stuff and walked out on him, three weeks later he was dating the guy he’s currently with, Jonathan T Hughes-Bennett, who was originally dating a friend of Liam’s, sign one of something wrong. Sign two, dating after being left three weeks prior, while also having a short relationship with someone else who was his handler in-between that.

I had no issues with the guy Liam was dating up until a situation happened. Out of nowhere Liam messaged me and was telling me about how his ex was messaging him and sent me the screenshots of the conversation, in them Liam was talking about fooling around with his ex and he was currently dating his now husband. Now I had no idea what to think of the whole situation but I stood by Liam’s side regardless cause as Liam’s pup that was my job and this really didn’t involve me. But then the guy he had dated for a short time decided to lie on Liam in a group chat to Liam’s admins and people who were under him as alpha, and his now husband allowed it to happen and at this point I had become known as Liam’s loyalist pup because of me being outspoken and publicly defending him. I wasn’t thrilled watching my alpha get lied on and when his now husband told me to back down and not defend him, I smelled a rat cause this guy parades around as a bishop and should know better than to allow someone to lie on a person he claims he wanted to be with. I was still new to the whole pup experience so I started showing people the conversations and asking advise because I wanted to be a good pup to Liam. Everyone said what his now husband did was suspicious. Not only that Liam was talking about suicide which had me freaked out.

So after all this drama happens, the next day, Liam comes out and says he was trying to set his ex up and apologizes to me, but too late the damage had already been done and I was highly suspicious of Jonathan now as nothing gave him the right to allow Liam to be lied on and nothing had given him the right to stop me from defending my alpha, beta or not, he had overstepped his boundaries where I was concerned cause morals come before pup play.

So Liam goes and meets Jonathan, they sleep together the first night, and after only spending a week together because he was being kicked out of his place due to being unable to pay the rent Liam rushes to live with Jonathan, I ran to so many pups asking what I should do and all of them said to warn Liam off but Liam wouldn’t listen to me, he blocks me and then goes live on Facebook, doesn’t mention anything about how he had drug me into the set up and made me out as a jealous and possessive pup who was trying to keep him from being happy. That was the start of me not wanting anything to do with his relationship.

So him and Jonathan got engaged after a few months together and were married within a year, all these are signs something is wrong cause all this is way too quick.

Within in that year after the lying on me, something Liam has not once ever flat out stated he did, he didn’t ever correct it by saying he lied on me and hid that he had drug me into a set up which made me suspicious of Jonathan, he made sexual advances at me, didn’t speak to me the next day and then gave me an ultimatum by telling me that I had to accept his relationship with Jonathan or he couldn’t be my alpha and blaming his drinking for him making sexual advances at me, something I still don’t buy. He dropped me not long afterwards for telling him he needed to put himself and his happiness before anyone else, including me and Jonathan and he dropped me for that. After that he dropped me after I bought him a pair of Bluetooth headphones and had them shipped to him and again when I bought him a necklace for his birthday, all cause of his relationship with Jonathan.

Now since being married, Liam came back wanted to be friends and acted like he was okay with me not being friends with Jonathan and just wanted me as his pup again, me wanting that myself, I agreed, we set boundaries, such as keeping me out of his relationship problems and not dropping me as his pup when in anger and he set a boundary of no sexual talk, other boundaries set were telling each other we needed space and not dragging other people into our arguments.

So once these were all agreed upon me and Liam started planning on meeting each other, I got a job doing DoorDash and I eventually got money to get a passport and I got the COVID-19 vaccine so I could enter the UK to meet him. All and all things were going great between me and Liam and we were talking and getting to know each other and then he started making sexual advances at me again and again blaming it on his drinking, again I’m not buying it. I try to make nothing of it, even admit that I’ve had thoughts of it myself trying to not let him feel bad for what he was feeling, trying to do everything I could to be a good pup to him. He was also financially struggling, and he was pawning his stuff, something I honestly didn’t like so I was sending him money to help him out, he asked me one time for 100 pounds and I did send it to him, told him not to worry about paying me back cause all I really wanted was to be treated right, and then his phone went out and I bought him a new one.

He tried to get me to be friends with Jonathan but I flat out turned around and told him due to the last time that Jonathan had spoken to me and made me out as the other woman and pointing out Jonathan being a bishop should know better than to talk to me as he did, I wanted nothing to do with him nor did I want to be his friend, I didn’t have the heart to tell Liam that he was part of it due to all the pain and suffering he had caused me constantly dropping me over his relationship was part of it, and he was fine with it, he said he got it.

Then plans got changed and Liam decided he wanted to come see me and spend my birthday with me and I was all for it. I didn’t know when I was gonna get my passport so I agreed, originally the plan was Liam was gonna come here while Jonathan went to Mississippi and Liam came here cause he didn’t want to go and was visiting me, then it got changed to Jonathan didn’t want to come because of the COVID regulations but Liam was still going to come.

Then Liam went on vacation and we talked throughout most of it, I tried to back off but Liam wouldn’t let me, told me he enjoyed talking to me about it and sharing the experience with me, he also said something similar to this about me messaging him all the time.

Then Jonathan got an inheritance, Liam did a 180 on me and all of a sudden started having a problem with me not being friends with Jonathan and me contacting Liam a lot is all of a sudden a problem and I’m being made a threat to his relationship, breaking our boundary of keeping me out of his relationship problems as making me a problem and a threat cause I don’t want to be friends with Jonathan. I would also like to point out that Liam stated Jonathan can be a “right c*nt” and that even his neighbors had noticed and that is also another bad sign, and that he was complaining to me and his ex about how Jonathan talks to people and he really gave me no reason to want to be friends with Jonathan as I really don’t want that toxicity in my life, so he disrespects me and invades my privacy and gives my number to Jonathan without my permission and forces me to talk to Jonathan and Jonathan tells me that the only way I can get to see Liam is if he was part of it and I had to take Liam to the hotel every night, I’m sitting there like, “Excuse me? This is for my birthday and you’re making demands out of me?” and he admitted to not trusting me and Liam stating Liam could have his ex spending the night alone with him as there was no interesting between them, double standards, it’s okay with his ex but not okay with his pup. I knew right then I was being bullshitted cause when I called him on it, he tried to claim I misunderstood and I didn’t misunderstand shit, he admitted to not trusting me and Liam and was interfering in our alpha-pup relationship. Afterwards he also used his MS and Liam possibly dying while here as an excuse as well, but they expected me to go the UK all by myself. Hmm. And as for Jonathan not wanting me to come to his house if I wasn’t his friend, not a big deal, I don’t come to the house, I could have just meet Liam halfway and we could go about our day. Butwhen I told Liam how wrong this whole situation was he started right back up as he did over a year ago.

Since then, Liam has had people gaslighting the living hell out of me, Liam has tried to claim that I was making him choose between myself and his husband, something I didn’t ever do, sounds like Jonathan is doing that, he told people he was going to talk to me the next day but I blew up on things, etc. and that’s not what he said he said he was done with me, blocked me and dropped me as his pup, telling this person that clearly was him admitting to breaking the number one boundary I had set of not dropping me as his pup out of anger. I had one person even try to gaslight me over him making sexual advances at me saying “He’s a guy.”, the same bullshit women have heard for years excusing male behavior of the wrongs. On top of that most of the men defending Liam are white, while I’m part Puerto Rican, may not be a factor but still I find that very interesting. In the end I’m getting the blame and gaslighting to cover up for the fact Liam broke several boundaries between us, disrespected me and invaded my privacy and he’s using his marriage as an excuse to cover it up and his husband who is a bishop is encouraging it when Christians preach about treating people right, doing all this is not treating someone right, and trying to force someone to be friends with someone they don’t want to be friends with and disrespect them and invade their privacy and give their number and use being married as an excuse, let me put like this, the gaslighting I’ve endured over this part is ridiculous, his relationship is no excuse for that.

I’ve had people telling me I’m wrong for holding onto a year's worth of pain and suffering that I’ve endured over his relationship and that’s gaslighting, no one has the right to tell me when I need to get over something, especially over a year’s worth of repeated pain that just keeps reopening the wound. Jonathan tried that, Liam tried that and so did some others and to do so is gaslighting and psychological abuse cause it’s telling me I have to get over something on someone else’s terms and truth be told Liam’s relationship with Jonathan is a huge slap in my face cause it’s like he’s saying he’s happy walking all over me like this.

The other gaslighting bullshit I’ve gotten is making any response on social media to the lies he’s telling people and them blocking me from having any sort of defense is wrong. I’ve been gaslight by having so many people tell me to just let go and move on when I have said time and again that doesn’t work as I go from one bad situation to the next and want Liam held accountable for what he’s done and to make things right, that’s gaslighting due to the fact people are invalidating my personal experiences with life. Telling me that moving on and letting go will teach Liam a lesson the hard way, talk about bullshit psychological abuse and gaslighting, do people not look at our world? Blocking, letting go and moving on doesn’t change things, they always have people supporting their immoral behavior they aren’t going to learn shit. It’s a bullshit lie giving someone false hope, same with karma, karma is implying that some mythical force is going to bring about justice and yet look at the world around us, where does that prove to ring true at all with a lot of the injustices that go on these days? Another gaslighting that got used against me is cultural differences cause of me being in the US and Liam being in the UK, I’m sorry but morals and respect for other people is universal, it’s not just a thing in the US. I also got accused of holding Jonathan’s religion against him, more gaslighting and psychological abuse, stating a bishop should know better than to encourage wronging another human being is not holding their religion against them, it’s stating fact as Christians preach about treating people right and a bishop is encouraging Liam to wrong me, disrespect me and invade my privacy for the sake of their relationship. Sorry but a relationship doesn’t give you the right to wrong another human being, disrespect them or invade their privacy.

It’s like with this video here on TikTok, where the user lizaroni42069 explains how being the bigger person isn’t the solution to things. What people are doing to me is gaslighting me to have no respect for myself, to be a doormat, to change my ways, shoot me sending Liam money and buying him a phone to help him out was made wrong because of what he did, it’s always about victims changing while people like Liam just get away with what they do and aren’t the ones made to change but their victims are. That’s gaslighting! Telling victims they are the problem and are the ones who need to change is gaslighting them. This has been pissing me off for years where people expect me to change my ways and not be kind and help people out because no one wants to force the assholes doing all these wrongs change but they want to force their victims to change and to silently absorb the wrong that has befallen them and making any reaction to the wrongs that are happening just as wrong as the offense. I’m sick of seeing this happen and I’m sick of people doing it to me and others. I’m also sick and tired of people acting like their advice is advice the definition of advice according to Webster is:

To get mad at someone for not taking your advice, especially when it wasn’t asked for as I don’t ask people for their advice when it comes to handling someone wronging me, you weren’t giving advice, you were telling someone what to do, more gaslighting and psychological abuse. To turn around and make them crazy for not taking that advice is more gaslighting and psychological abuse. Enough is enough!

And I know people can say I’m using this as a means to get back or whatever, more gaslighting, but no, I’m using what has happened to me and putting it all out there, showing the gaslighting that’s been done to me so people are aware that this is exactly what it looks like, who better than people who actually have dealt with it to explain how it?

In the end, anything that makes the victims of wrongdoings just as wrong as the person who wronged them is psychological abuse and gaslighting, as long as the person isn’t being violent or slandering the person, then let them demand accountability, let them demand justice if they want that, and if some people choose to just let it go and move on, that’s fine, but trying to force that on everyone is wrong. When a person is wronged society needs to respect what the victims want instead of giving respect to those who are wronging them cause in the end it seems to me like people who do wrong get more respect and protection and have more rights than their victims do.

Fighting against homophobia and social injustice.