You know people make feel like I don’t know what I am talking about as if I haven’t been through domestic abuse or seen other people that I care about go through an abusive relationship. Most people think abuse is just physical but there is more than just physical abuse. Here are 9 signs of an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Please note that you don’t have to go through all nine a relationship is abusive if only one of these is happening.
1. They lie on you to people or allow people to lie on you or falsely accuse you of doing something you didn’t do.
Lying on or allowing someone to be lied on or falsely accusing someone of something they didn’t do is not ever okay no matter what someone may or may not have done wrong. Two wrongs do not make a right.
2. They fault you for your their wrongful behavior or find ways to blame you.
Again two wrongs don’t make a right and a person is only responsible for themselves and no one else and a person who isn’t abusive will take responsibility for their own wrongful behavior without making excuses or trying to place the fault on their spouse in anyway, this is known as verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and psychological abuse.
3. They invalidate your feelings.
Every relationship on this planet must have compromises and both people’s feelings being acknowledged and able to be met. Invalidating a person’s feelings in any circumstances and putting them down for it is psychological abuse and emotional manipulation.
4. They convince you that all your relationship issues are your fault.
It takes two to tango, if you’re in a relationship with someone and they refuse to acknowledge they did anything wrong, then is is another form of psychological abuse.
5. They find every way to excuse their wrongful behavior.
Another form of psychologically abusive behavior, there is absolutely no excuse in the world that makes it okay to morally wrong someone.
6. Jealously and possessiveness.
Any true trusting and real loving relationship has no jealousy, jealousy is known as the ugly green monster for a reason, if a partner is displaying signs of jealousy by acting possessive when a friend or some random stranger on the internet gives you a compliment on your appearance, the person is insecure and has no trust in the relationship, especially if the person is stating to the one who gave the compliment that you are their’s and theirs alone as if you are their property and no one has the right to give you a compliment.
7. They do not want you spending time with anyone else but them or won’t allow you to go out with friends or family without them.
As mentioned above this again falls under jealousy and possessive as true loving relationship with trust, couples need time apart and cannot be up on each other 24/7 and if one refuses to do so then this is an issue.
8. Lack of privacy.
On each other’s phones, always asking who you’re talking to, always nosing into your conversations. True loving relationships with trust do not need to be up in each other’s business all the time and respects each other’s privacy to have private conversations with friends and family without care or concern.
9. They constantly put you down.
Whether they are upset with you or just consistently name calling, there is no excuse to put someone down or belittle them. If there is a heated argument or one or. neither knows how to control their temper then a true healthy relationship will go to separate places to calm down and come back and talk things out calmly and rationally without resorting to yelling, name calling or putting a person down.