Caring About Oneself and Others

I keep having an issue with people making that you need to care about yourself but caring about yourself is disregarding your own feelings or as I was always raised to care about others, it seems to also not do so.

Let’s Give Some Examples

Let’s take my situation with Shawn Suleiman, both of which are a struggle for me cause it’s a care about self and a care about others.

I have spent a lot of my life wondering why when I am wronged that the person who has wronged me has more rights than I do or that because they did wrong it instantly invalidates my feelings or that the person in the wrong’s feelings trump mine even though I am the victim.

Let me explain, a lot of people make me out as an obsessed person who doesn’t actually care about Shawn because I am not respecting his wishes where the two of us are concerned when really I should respect someone’s feelings who told me that we’ll date and live together while I bought him things he wanted and who’s actions make it look like they were using my feelings to get things, if he wasn’t why am I not with him than? Actions speak louder than words. I’m sorry where’s my respect in this? Respect should not ever go one way, this is not caring about oneself to disregard your own feelings for another person’s.

And this brings me to my care of others, by googling Shawn there is a wiki that has conversations showing I’m not Shawn’s only victim that he has used or taken advantage of, though people have tried to silence those finding this information and aiding Shawn, where is the care for others to stop him from doing this to other people? With people trying to silence me and silence those getting information from other victims or people who know Shawn is actually complicit, aiding and condoning what he is doing and allowing him to do so to others. How is that care for other people?

Now let’s look at the other part of this situation with Shawn, the homophobic part where my mother’s homophobic husband told me that I will never get with Shawn because his deity doesn’t approve of homosexual relationships and him appearing right for over four years.

Where is him appearing right and being empowered, or ignoring homophobes like him that sit there and bully us, call us “f*ggots”, beat us up or murdering us caring about ourselves or others? To me it sure doesn’t appear that way. No LGBT+ who cares about oneself should encourage empowering a homophobe by letting it appear right so it can continue to teach hatred towards the LGBT+ community. I’m not saying that all LGBT+ who do this are self-hating or have internalized homophobia but it sure doesn’t seem they have care for themselves cause if they cared about themselves why would they allow or want this person to teach others to attack LGBT+ like that?

Let’s take this to an LGBT+ youth, they are sitting there in love with this one person in school but because of our unjust and hateful society they are afraid to tell this person or even make an advance cause they don’t know if the person is gay or not or will feel the same way so they have a religious background so they pray to the Christian deity and ask the deity to get them with this person and their homophobic parent overhears their prayer and tells them that they will not ever get with this person because their deity doesn’t approve of homosexual relationships and adds to the LGBT+’s already internalized turmoil. Now our society as disgustingly unjust as it is this youth reaches out and all people tell them is that “Even if you don’t get with this person, that doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean that homophobe is right.” and because the youth can’t get the answer they want which is that this homophobe is wrong and they’ll get with this person, the youth decides and succeeds in committing suicide.

Where was the care of this LGBT+ youth or the consideration of their feelings? This child is already going through hell being quietly in love with someone and wanting what everyone in those years want, a boy/girlfriend and can’t cause they afraid and don’t know if the person is gay or not or even feels the same and come from a religious background pray to be with this person, get a homophobe telling them it won’t happen cause their orientation is wrong and then add on it an unjust and unthoughtful society that sits there and acts like this is no big deal cause it’s just words and they act like words don’t hurt at any age when they do. That child is already going through hell and our society decides to add to it, straight or LGBT+, Liberal or Conservative and no one cares about that youth’s feeling and they kill themselves.

This is the stuff we do cause our society thinks everyone should think, feel, and believe the same, I don’t think people want to come out and say it cause it contradicts their whole they accept everyone as different when the reality is they wish everyone would be the same. The truth is where is the care for oneself or others in situations like this?

Where is the care for LGBT+, or if you are LGBT+, where is the care of oneself, to sit here and think the answer to homophobia is to do nothing, ignore, let these people appear right and allowing them to harm other LGBT+ who aren’t as strong as you and who will kill themselves over something like what is happening to me.

I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t have suicidal thoughts but my fear of pain and fear that my soul will be in torment for not getting with Shawn keep me from acting on it but there are others who the pain of our world is much worse than the death or the torment their souls will endure in the afterlife. Where’s the care for them?

Where is the care for other people with situations where Shawn can get away with what he is doing and allowed to do it to others? Has no one seen trump? This guy suffers no consequences for his actions and so he goes from bad to worse and that’s what happens with all human beings who do wrong and get away with it and instead of caring for others and spreading the word about Shawn to prevent him from doing the same thing to others, people have tried to silence myself and others cause they don’t care about me, my feelings or other people’s feelings or to protect others from it.

Another thing I want to point out is it is not care of oneself to disregard your own feelings and when there is no compromising being done, etc.

As I said before, “Actions speak louder than words.” So where is the care for oneself disregarding your own feelings? Where is the care for others allowing a person like Shawn or a homophobe to get away with the things they say and do so they can continue to do their wrongful ways to others?

I cannot understand any of this, I see so much loss of morality these days and it’s hard to believe people actually care about themselves or others these days to allow the wrongs and allow people to do these wrongs to others.