I was reading an article by Sharon Martin called Emotional Invalidation: A Form of Emotional Abuse and in the article Ms. Martin points out a few things that I tend to feel have happened to me that are emotional invalidation and abuse that either is intentional or unintentional.
Now in her article Ms. Martin states:
Other times, emotional invalidation is a form of manipulation and an attempt to make you question your feelings and experiences. A pattern of invalidation is a form of emotional abuse or gaslighting. it’s a denial of you or your experience. It implies that you’re wrong, overreacting, or lying. Abusers do this to turn things around and blame the victim and deny or minimize their abusive words or actions.
This has happened to me my entire life. People don’t seem to realize that just cause I do not want to handle things the same way others would does not make my feelings any less valid or wrong. I know that there are other people who have gone through rape like I have but even Ms. Martin states:
Feelings aren’t right or wrong. They are a reflection of your thoughts, experiences, and perceptions, which is why two people can have the same experience, but feel differently.
And that’s how I am, the problem isn’t me when it comes to my situation with Liam, it’s people’s lack of empathy and turning to emotional abuse to invalidate my feelings. Take for a fact Liam has people threatening my life, to me it feels if he was really wrong then people would be outraged and condemning what he’s done and making awareness of it and holding him accountable for it. However, what happens is silent condiment while trying to force me to move on and let it go, both of which Ms. Martin and another article pointed out, is emotional and psychological abuse. There is an old saying I heard growing up that went “Actions speak louder than words.” so my feelings are if Liam is actually wrong for what he’s done he’d be getting consequences for it, which he’s not, and I’d be feeling a heck of a lot better about myself and the situation and less afraid for my life.
People are different and every person’s life forms them differently and because of this there is no universal one way solution to solve or deal with problems that a person faces. We need to change the way our society thinks and make it where respectful of other people’s individuality. Until then this world is only going to get worse.